twenty ten. aren’t we supposed have jet packs by now?

growing up, The Jetsons showed us a window to the future. jet packs, a robot that does my makeup- I find myself wondering, where’s my teleporter?

as far as I could twist this into a story about finding the ‘easy button’, so to say, it’s really about expectations. recently, life – more specifically, a man, threw me a curve ball that completely shattered expectations that I had created. left confused but confident, i was proud to know that i could reset the expectations of myself, and him, into a more timely, realistic framework. these things aren’t easy.

in my work, setting expectations is straightforward and necessary. ‘by when?” “what can i expect from you?” seeking clarity is vital to demonstrating expertise, and yet that is where the similarities between the practices of work and personal begin to dwindle.  opening the door between the two worlds is where I find myself and where I seem to be learning the most.

everyone creates expectations of themselves and the people around them. whether it is as simple and ‘treating people like you expect to be treated,’ or as complex as gauging if someone will “say yes” to that big question, the way that we formulate our expectations directly effects how we react to the situations in our lives. and how these reactions shape our character.

in work, it’s work. in our personal lives, it’s personal. resetting expectations at work calls for a shift in priority but is most commonly oriented around a certain task or set of tasks. (unless, of course, it is personal and that’s a whole different issue that you should take up with HR…) resetting expectations in our personal lives, though, is rarely approached with the same understanding. everything is taken “personally”. feelings and emotions become involved.

in my personal life, my initial reaction to being let down or feeling like I have set “the bar” too high,  is to abandon expectations of the people around me, but  abandoning those expectations does not create room for those individuals to communicate their expectations of me or to be held accountable for themselves; it places a burden on them that says, “you messed up once and now I expect much less of you.”

to ask someone to manage my expectations means sharing with them mine and allowing for open communication about what they are able to expect from me. it also means understanding that as much as I often desire a second chance, of sorts, so do the people around me that have, often abruptly and temporarily, lowered my standards of expectations.

instead of thinking about it as lowering my standards, which is the opposite of how I would prefer people to think of me, I am learning to see it as being groundless.

Here, groundless and floating around in my twenties, I believe that I will be able learn about myself and others as whole people, not based on the unrealistic pedestals that we may put each other on, and push each other off.

and THIS is what I take with me in this supposed-to-be-futuristic year: people with two feet on the ground, can’t change their underwear.